Yes, Dear…
Beethoven typography
Beethoven dressed in french style clothing with a gold frame
by Anjie Coates
Photo by Anjie Coates
Every spa day for Beethoven begins the same way. When his Mom’s car is stopped at the four-way outside the salon he begins to whine. The whining escalates into a near frenzy when he gets to the salon, then the frenzy turns to screaming the moment he steps inside. The screaming is to alert me that he has arrived and requires that I come to pick him up, smooch his head and tell him he is my favorite boy.
  • Dog
    Beethoven: “Anjie! I’m here! Come get me!”
  • Scissors
    I hear him screaming and run into the front room where he leaps at me and I scoop him into my arms.

    “Hi, buddy. I missed you,” I say as I kiss his head.

  • Dog
    Beethoven grins at me and smashes his head against my face: “More kisses!”
  • Scissors
    “OK, one more, then let’s get you started,” I tell him.

    After his bath, I put him on the table and begin to dry him.

  • Dog
    Beethoven: “I do love the drying.”
  • Scissors
    “I know. You can lay down if you want to,” I say.
  • Dog
    Beethoven: “Oh good.” And he melts into a puddle of fur on the table with his legs stretched out beneath him.
  • Scissors
    I roll him around the table like a meatball to get him dry and he falls asleep.

    “Beethoven? Buddy? I have to stand you up for a minute to do a bit of trimming,” I say.

  • Dog
    Beethoven: “No standing, it’s spa day. Only massage.”
  • Scissors
    “I did all that already, but I need to neaten up your underside and I can’t tell what fuzzies are hanging down if you’re laying down. I’ll be quick,” I tell him.
  • Dog
    Beethoven: “Fiiiine. But I’m only standing for a second.”
  • Scissors
    “You have to give me a minute,” I say.
  • Dog
    Beethoven: “It’ll cost you.”
  • Scissors
    “One smooch?” I ask.
  • Dog
    Beethoven: “Four smooches.”
  • Scissors
    “Two smooches and a pat on the head,” I bargain.
  • Dog
    Beethoven: “Three smooches and a chest rub.”
  • Scissors
    “OK, fine. Stand up,” I agree.
  • Illustration of bread basket
  • Illustration of macarons
  • Dog
    Beethoven stands and gives me the side eye: “Well?”
  • Scissors
    “You get smooches when I’m done,” I tell him.
  • Dog
    Beethoven: “Don’t forget.”
  • Scissors
    “In all these years, what is it, eleven now? Have I ever once forgotten your smooches?” I ask.
  • Dog
    Beethoven: “No, but you might this time. Just saying.”
  • Scissors
    I trim up what’s necessary and then pay him his earned smooches.
  • Dog
    Beethoven: “Let’s go get my picture taken. Where am I going today?”
  • Scissors
    Paris,” I tell him.

    I carry him into the picture room where I offer him a few different berets and costumes and he finally chooses the one he likes the best.

  • Dog
    Beethoven: “This will cost you.”
  • Scissors
    “I’m aware. What’ll it be?” I ask.
  • Dog
    Beethoven: “Two smooches and a hug.”
  • Scissors
    To which I answer,
    Yes, dear
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