Blitz

Yes, Dear…

by Anjie Coates
Photo by Anjie Coates

litz is a German Shepherd I have groomed since he was a puppy. He always enters the salon with his tail wagging in anticipation and his owner in tow, trailing behind him.
“Hi, buddy!” I greet.
Blitz’s entire body breaks into fitful, joyous wags: “Spa day! It’s spa day!”
“It is! Alright, c’mon, let’s get you set up so your mom can go to work,” I say.
Blitz dashes toward the half door as his owner tries to say goodbye.
“Buddy, your bed is already set up for you. It’s not going anywhere,” I assure him.
Blitz runs to his usual crate that he dives into as if jumping into a pond: “My bed!”
“Happy now?” I ask.
Blitz: “Yeah. This is good.”

“OK, why don’t you take a nap? When it’s your turn, one of us will wake you up and take you out,” I tell him.
Blitz: “OK, but no touching other dogs.”
“Buddy, I have a lot of dogs to groom today; you’re not the only one, I’m afraid,” I say.
Blitz gives me a side eye but lays down and begins to doze off.
When I finish the dog I was working on, I return them to their crate with a smooch on the top of their head.
Blitz: “Hey! You can’t smooch on him! Only me!”
“That’s not really fair. He’s a good boy, too. He can have smooches,” I tell him.
Blitz: “I don’t like him.”
“You don’t even know him!” I counter.
Blitz: “So?”

Finally, it’s Blitz’s turn. Just before I go to get him, someone walks by with another dog, and he startles them both by barking at them.
“Why do you do that?” I ask.
Blitz: “I like to see them jump.”
“C’mon, let’s get you finished,” I say with an eye roll.
Blitz bounds to the table in three hops and plants himself into a sitting position: “Finally!”
I call my assistant Angie to be his emotional support human while I get his nails done.
Angie rubs his head and mutters sweet nothings into his ear and I chuckle as he rests his head on her shoulder.

Blitz: “It’s awful! Just awful!”
“It’s a nail trim, buddy. We do this every single time. You’re going to be OK,” I reassure him.
Blitz: “I think I need treats. I don’t know if I can do this.”
I stifle a laugh as Angie gives him a treat, and he wags.
“Does that make it better?” I ask.
Blitz: “Yes.”
“I love you, buddy, but you’re big on the drama regarding nails,” I tell him.
Blitz: “It’s terrible.”
“Your nails are done. You’re going to live,” I say as I pat his head.
Blitz: “I think I need another treat.”
“You are a huge goof,” I tell him as I brush him out.

When he’s finished, we head into the picture room.
“OK, what do you want to be?” I ask as I offer him a few costume options.
Blitz: “A fierce dragon! I’m very brave!”
I hide my grin thinking of the nail trim and get his dragon costume on as I utter,