Yes, Dear…
Libby
Libby the dog dressed as a pirate
Illustration of waves
by Anjie Coates
Photo by Anjie Coates
Map with dotted lines illustration
  • Libby is an American Bulldog. She is a regular of mine and a sweet girl.
  • Dog
    Libby comes into the salon, shoves open the half-door, and runs down to my table where she hops up and sits wagging.
  • Scissors
    “Umm…Libby, I think we’re skipping some steps here,” I tell her.
  • Dog
    Libby: “No, we do the smooching and the petting and the hugs now.”
  • Scissors
    “Well, here’s the thing, babe…You know I love you, but you kinda stink, so you need a bath,” I inform her.
  • Dog
    Libby gives me the side-eye.
  • Scissors
    “You know I’m right. We can do all that stuff, but maybe after you don’t smell like dirty feet,” I say.
  • Dog
    Libby sniffs at herself, sighs, ambles down to the tub, goes up the ramp and settles in.
  • Scissors
    “See? The bath wasn’t so bad, was it? You’re so nice and clean and soft. You got your oil massage, and now you literally sparkle!” I tell her.
  • Dog
    Libby: “Yeah, I guess clean isn’t so bad.”
  • Scissors
    “OK, now we need to brush out a
    pound or two of fur,” I say.
  • Dog
    Libby stands so I can brush out her back legs and tail.
  • Scissors
    “It gets me every time, Lib, how are you not literally bald? How can you shed out this much fur and I can’t even tell that any is missing?” I ask.
  • Dog
    Libby: “Yeah, Mom says the same thing. I am good at making fur!”
  • Illustration of ship wheel
  • Scissors
    “Yeah, you are! You’re kind of a shedding beast,” I tell her.
  • Dog
    Libby wags her tail and sweeps a pile of fur onto the floor: “Yeah. I do good sheds all the time!”
  • Scissors
    “OK, we have to do nails, though. Before you protest, I have your treats ready; we’ll do the same as usual,” I say.
  • Dog
    Libby: “Wait, no. You cheat! You make one treat into two.”
  • Scissors
    “Well, I don’t want you to get an upset stomach. You can only eat so much freeze-dried beef liver,” I tell her.
  • Dog
    Libby: “No cheating!”
  • Scissors
    “OK, no cheating. You get a full treat after each foot…if…you’re a good girl,” I warn.
  • Dog
    Libby: “Fine!”
  • Scissors
    I do her nails, and she is good, so I give her the full-sized treat after each foot.
  • Scissors
    “OK, ear boogies and then picture room,” I say.
  • Illustration of treasure chest
  • Dog
    Libby starts wagging so hard I can barely get her ears cleaned.
  • Dog
    Libby: “Taking forever!”
  • Scissors
    “It’ll take less time if you weren’t squirming about quite so much,” I remind her.
  • Dog
    She continues wagging her entire body, and I continue cleaning out her ears.
  • Scissors
    “OK, done!” I say as I unclip the loop.
  • Dog
    Libby runs to the picture room, spins and sits, already posing for her picture.
  • Scissors
    I offer a few costumes, and she chooses her favorite.
  • Scissors
    “Gorgeous as always!” I tell her.
  • Dog
    Libby: “I know! OK, gimme my treats. No cheating either!”
  • Scissors
    And I reply,
    Yes, dear
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