he pressures we put on ourselves as groomers and what society expects of us can feel exhausting, often creating anxiety that feels like bubbling lava. The anticipation of each day’s tasks causes the volcano to become more and more active, and sometimes the idea of unplugging and walking away can feel enticing.

In an industry where each breed has a different standard, should each groomer have a different personal standard as well? What does the word “standard” even represent? Perfection? Expectation? What standard do you hold yourself and your team to?

Though it has become second nature for humans to compare themselves, in no way shape or form should we compare ourselves to others. These comparisons float through our brains even when we are unaware of the standards that individuals are upholding themselves to. Nor are we aware of the differences that people are experiencing, which may cause variations in struggles and strengths. This toxic judgement has stemmed from a world of expectations that far surpasses the grooming industry, but within our community it is seen daily—and social media has amplified this, for better or worse.

Despite at times wishing it would go away for good, social media is a way we reach our peers, clients and potential clients. So, for the sake of grooming and humanity, it is our duty to treat others with respect and dignity. For example, someone posts a Miniature Schnauzer “breed standard” trim and asks for constructive criticism. Fabulous, right?! They are looking for help in boosting their abilities to uphold a general standard. What is not great is bashing someone within that same space.

These negative words are likely formed out of personal insecurities, which are then projected via a keyboard and behind the safety of a screen. Instead, we have the opportunity to recognize that our personal standard and the standard of that individual may not be aligned, and that is perfectly okay. Which, going even deeper, can be broken down into years of experience, desire to improve, security in their confidence to take and grow from constructive criticism, and just plain curiosity.

In a circumstance such as this, it is a prime opportunity to ask yourself, what is my personal standard for supporting others? Do I partake or do I keep scrolling? Neither is wrong. As individuals, each situation creates a standard that only we can decide upon. 

Close to two decades ago, when I was learning how to groom, we were taught breed standards. No puppy cuts or teddy bear trims. These standards have always been something that I have kept in the back of my mind, even when conforming to new “standards,” which our clientele may seek.

The standard for many businesses is not show-ring worthy. And this is not because our skills are not at this level, but rather because the dogs we groom are likely not a fit. This change in standard and expectation can trickle down into groomers losing their ability to remember patterns and proper lines. However, this is no fault of their own, but caused by the way that we continue to grow and change to best support our clients. At times, this ever-spinning wheel of cut styles can be overwhelming.

Whether it’s remembering different patterns, running a business, supporting your family or just trying to have a hobby, our brains are straining for any spare space to breathe. However, for those who have too much on their plate but are avid members of the clean plate club, there are the 3 C’s of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The 3C’s stand for Catch it, Check it and Change it, and this coping skill might just be the best tool in your box this holiday season.

It is critical to understand that we are solely responsible for the way we perceive and process information. This allows us to gain control, especially in moments where we feel helpless. For instance, we can “Catch” ourselves in times of self-doubt, whether that be due to a negative client remark or a tough dog. We then have the opportunity to “Check” ourselves before we so ominously wreck ourselves. Having the opportunity to stop and process allows us to gain control over how this negative interaction may make or break the rest of the day, week, month or year. Lastly, but most importantly, “Change” it.

No one can determine how you feel except for yourself. Do you want that fresh Fox Terrier ruining the rest of your week? Or should you do as the tenacious terriers do and not let anything get in your way of a good time? Only you can decide!

So, in that moment of self-doubt, take a breath and ask yourself is this is worth the anxiety and frustration. Work through the 3C’s, and if you are truly unsure, take a moment to view it from a different perspective. Would you want someone you care about being stressed and anxious due to the same trigger?

Using your innate empathy, you can have an outside introspective view and, more times than not, it’s what we need to remove the self-doubt. It is easier to care for others than for ourselves. This is evident in the love we put forth for our clients every day.

So, this holiday season, hopefully utilizing the 3C’s will allow your days to result in the other 3C’s: cookies, cheer and cash tips! You set the standard for how your holidays and new year will play out. Remove the stress and support yourself and others when you can. Most importantly, remind yourself that the standards in grooming are forever changing but the standards you set for yourself are up to you.