Zerxes

Yes, Dear…

by Anjie Coates
Photo by Anjie Coates

erxes, the Great Pyrenees, always comes in the door with a wag and a smile.
“Hi, buddy. Are you ready for your spa day?” I ask.
Zerxes: “I am! I get crackers today, right?”
“Of course you do,” I assure him.
I arrange a pickup time with his mom and turn to lead Zerxes into the back. “Whoa, buddy, we’re not running!” I exclaim.
Zerxes pulls me down the hall to his usual crate and dives onto his bed: “Nap time!”
“You’re going in the tub in about three minutes, so that will be a pretty short nap,” I warn.
Zerxes stretches out, licks his lips and is asleep when his turn for the tub comes a few minutes later.
“You can stand so she can wash your bum without her having to pick it up, right?” I ask him as I observe my assistant struggling with his uncooperative weight in the tub.
Zerxes: “But if I stand, she will wash my bum!”

“She’s going to wash it either way. You know this,” I counter.
Zerxes sighs and lumbers to standing: “Fine! But I get an extra cracker for this!”
“OK, now that you’re all clean, let’s get you dry and get all that extra undercoat out, shall we?” I ask as I return to the tub to retrieve him.
Zerxes: “OK, I’m just going to sleep then.”
I nod, knowing this means his head will be resting on my back or shoulder so he can doze while I dry.
“You can lay down, you know,” I remind him.
Zerxes: “No, I’m all set. You hold me.”
“OK, you’re dry. Now we’re going to…,” I start.
Zerxes: “Nope, not doing nails. Can’t do it,” as he begins to tap-dance on the table.
“I got you, buddy. You can do this. It’s going to be so quick you won’t even know they’re being done,” I tell him.
Zerxes eyes me, and while we both know it is a blatant lie, I hoped we could get through it without me getting squashed.
“OK, onto the back feet,” I say as I move to the back of him and lift his back left paw. I get four of the six nails trimmed on his back foot when I feel his weight shift.

“Zerxes!” I exclaim as I lay pinned by his body sitting atop my back.
Zerxes: “Sorry,” as he flashes his sweet, apologetic eyes.
“Buddy, you can’t just drop all your weight on my back; that’s how I get squished,” I remind him.
Zerxes: “OK, I’ll be good.”
We get through the rest of the nail trim, and since he is the last dog in the salon, I help him off the table and let him have the run of the salon while I clean up.
“Are you napping today or supervising?” I ask.
Zerxes: “Supervising!”
As I work, Zerxes watches me clean, disinfect and sanitize the grooming area.
“Want your crackers now?” I ask.
Zerxes: “Not yet,” as he follows my assistant into the back room to watch her fold laundry.

“OK, let me know when,” I tell him as I work on cleaning up my tools.
Zerxes returns to my side with a wide smile: “OK, ready!”
“Done supervising?” I ask as I take out the treats his mom had brought for him and drop one in his mouth.
Zerxes: “Yum! Good crackers!”
“And you’re the very best supervisor!” I say.
Zerxes: “I am! Can I have the rest of those?”
I pet his soft face, smile at him and reply,