hat is wrong with you today?” I asked the black miniature Schnauzer on my table. She’s a regular visitor every six weeks and generally a dream to work on. On this day, she danced and spun, whined and pulled, causing me to dip deep into my well of patience.
Since she wouldn’t answer me, I had to do some pondering. It occurred to me that her owners had recently split up and the little dog was being shuffled between homes weekly. In addition, one of her owners was dealing with a significant health issue that limited his mobility dramatically. Her life had changed considerably in the past few months; was it any wonder that she was behaving differently?
While I groomed her, I thought back to other pets who had changed their behavior during the grooming process. One was a large mixed breed who had always been a perfect gentleman on spa day. Suddenly, he became restless, sometimes almost frantic, and would even snap at me, which was a total surprise given our long history of peaceful visits. When I spoke with the owner, she explained that her husband had been diagnosed with a terminal illness. It seemed the dog was desperate to be with his suffering owner, and going to be groomed made him terribly anxious. When his beloved human finally passed, the dog resumed his original sterling behavior.
In online grooming forums, the frustration groomers feel toward the pet-owning public is a common discussion point—often for valid reasons. We put up with last-minute cancellations and no-shows that negatively affect our income. We encounter people that do not respect the complexity and challenges of our work. We are confronted with those who neglect their dog’s care and then become upset with us when we cannot miraculously undo months of indifference and make mats disappear. From almost comical instances, like when someone schedules a small, short-haired pet but shows up with a large, long-haired creature—oblivious to the difference—to serious events, like when someone tries to steal our services or berates us for the price we charge, dealing with people can be trying.
- Don’t automatically assume the worst in others. Realize that the grumpy, impatient person you are dealing with may be going through struggles that you know nothing about.
- Think before you react. Before you say that snippy remark or before you respond tersely to that text or email, think about it first. Avoid speaking or writing things you may later regret. If you lie awake at night wishing you had not said a certain thing, you are robbing yourself of peace. Keep your responses professional, you will never regret that.
- Let things go. The old expression, “Like water off a duck’s back,” suggests letting annoyances roll past. By letting irritations go, your daily interactions become less stressful. Sometimes, you can even find humor in a tense situation, and that is always a win because laughing is such a gift.
- Don’t expect the grace you offer to be recognized or reciprocated. Giving grace is an act of compassion that will usually go unrecognized and not often reciprocated when you’re the one having a bad day.
Giving grace does not mean allowing others to take advantage of or abuse us. It merely means that in situations where we can forgive others for their shortcomings and move on with our day, focusing on the good it entails can benefit our own mental health and wellbeing.
We should also consider giving ourselves a little grace. Don’t be too harsh on yourself if you slip up, make a mistake or forget something you promised to do. Let it go, resolve to do better next time and move ahead.
From dogs to their owners, situations will try our patience, heap frustration upon us and make us question our life choices. Deciding to be compassionate to the pets, their people, and ourselves will help make our days go more smoothly and enjoyably.